


Day Sixteen

by TheLittleRedWhoCouldWrite



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Female!Reader - Freeform, Reader-Insert, Self-conscious!Reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-02
Updated: 2015-12-02
Packaged: 2018-05-04 14:36:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5337752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLittleRedWhoCouldWrite/pseuds/TheLittleRedWhoCouldWrite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Imagine having a bad day, so you just lie on the floor out of frustration. This confuses Castiel, but he lies beside you until you feel better + Imagine Castiel finding out that you're self-conscious about your weight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Day Sixteen

You can  _feel_  your thighs jiggling as you run, but you ignore it. This is the first time you've been out of the bunker in weeks. You needed to do something that isn't sparring, shooting, or binge watching Netflix. Sam would have come with you, but Dean dragged him on a grocery run instead, so it's just you today.

You take a right, turning onto a slightly busier street, and almost immediately wish you hadn't. You can practically feel people watching you. You know you look ridiculous. You're not a small woman, though you're not large, either. You're actually a healthy weight for a woman of your stature.

Despite this, you can't help feeling self-conscious about the jiggling of your thighs and the way your breasts bounce. You're glad you have headphones in, because you don't want to have to hear people whispering. You'll only imagine they're talking about you, even though they're probably not.

Spotting a smoothie shop, you head for it. A smoothie is exactly the thing to help you feel better. Maybe. Hopefully.

Running a little in place to keep your muscles warm, you desperately want one of the smoothies that leans more towards milkshake- the little shop has a Creamsicle flavored one you're definitely going to have to come back to try. Today, however, you find yourself compelled to choose something healthier in an attempt to look better. You go for a green smoothie with peach juice, spinach, fresh lime, peaches, mangos, and pineapple, and throw in a vitamin blend for the hell of it.

The smoothie is actually really good and you take small sips as you stretch a little outside the shop. Satisfied that you aren't going to tear anything, you stick your headphones in and continue your run.

You slow down to a brisk walk when you reach a park, admiring the changing colors in the leaves. There are some kids playing frisbee and a lady walking her dog. As you pass her, she shoots you what you can't help believing is a critical glance. You throw away your now empty smoothie cup in the nearest trash can and gradually pick up your pace.

By the time you get back to the Bunker, you're not feeling much better than when you left about an hour ago. You drop your Ipod on a table in the library and do some cool down stretches. Then you head to the kitchen for a cool glass of water. Castiel is sitting at the table eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. You ruffle his hair fondly on your way past and he looks up to smile around his mouthful of food.

"How was your run?" he asks.

"Fine," you reply, sipping your water. I'm going to go read or something."

You slip down the hall, fighting the frustration in your chest. When you get to your room, you take a fast shower, and change into a t-shirt and sweats. You pull your hair into a messy bun.

You don't even make it to your bed. Instead, you just collapse between the bathroom and your bed, and spread yourself out on the floor. It's something you've always done when you're feeling frustrated, though you're not entirely sure why.

X X X X X X

You don't know how long you lay there before there's a soft knock at your bedroom door.

"What?" you snap, not bothering to move.

"Y/N?" Cas says softly, pushing the door open. "I- why are you in the floor?"

"Because," you grunt out.

He crosses the room to crouch beside you. "Are you alright?"

"No, I'm not. I'm having a pretty frustrating day so far."

"And lying on the floor helps?"

You shrug. "A little."

Cas nods thoughtfully. Then he lays down beside you. You watch in amazement as he settles on his back, neatly arranging his trench coat around him. He laces his fingers together on his stomach and stares up at the ceiling.

"Hmmm," he says. "It does put things into perspective, I suppose."

You laugh softly and roll so you're on your back as well. "You don't have to stay here, Cas," you say.

"You need company," he replies. "Though I'm not sure you realize it. I am the only other person in the Bunker, so I will keep you company." He turns to look at you. "Unless you want me to go."

You shake your head. "No. You're right. I don't want to be alone."

A comfortable silence falls. It's the kind of silence that can only found between friends.

Eventually, though, you feel like talking. You roll on your side to look at the Angel.

"Cas?"

"Yes, Y/N?" He rolls onto his side as well.

"Do you ever feel self-conscious?"

His brow furrows as he ponders this question. Then, "I have. When I was younger- much, much younger- I was very small, especially for an Angel. In truth, I had not reached my final growth, but that did not stop the other Angels my age from bullying me. I was abnormally small. The fact that my wings are also an unusual color for an Angel did nothing to help my plight. I eventually grew, but I still find myself feeling as if the other Angels are judging to color of my wings."

"What color are they?"

"Black."

You nod thoughtfully, imagining him with big black wings, the color of his hair. "I think black suits you."

He smiles. "Thank you, Y/N. Why do you ask, though?"

"That's why I'm having a hard day. I'm feeling self-conscious."

Cas looks puzzled. He sits up. "Self-conscious? What for?"

You sit up, as well, and scoot to lean against the bed. Cas moves to sit beside you.

"I feel self-conscious about my weight," you admit.

"You're a perfectly healthy weight for-"

"I know that, Cas. But that doesn't change the fact that I feel fat some days. I know I'm out, but sometimes... today, while I was out running, I felt as if everyone I passed was judging me. I got a smoothie and instead of getting the smoothie I wanted to get, I got a healthy smoothie to make it seem like I'm trying to be better. Like running isn't enough. I know I wasn't being judged. I know that, I just..." you trail off, gesturing helplessly.

Cas is watching you, blue eyes intense. He nods as you speak, clearly listening intently to what you're saying. It's different, feeling as if you truly are the center of someone's attention. It's actually rather nice.

"I am unsure of how to help you," Cas says after a few moments of quiet. "What can I do?"

You shrug helplessly, leaning against him. He lifts one arm, a little hesitant, and wraps it around your shoulders. You settle into the partial embrace, turning your head to rest your cheek against his chest. Silence falls once again, but that's okay. You're already feeling better and Cas hasn't even really done anything.

"Do you feel better?" he asks.

"A bit," you admit.

He makes a thoughtful sound. "Would it help if I told you something?"

You lft your head to look at him. "Depends, I guess. Fire away."

"I think you're beautiful," Cas tells you, free hand coming up to cup your cheek. Long fingers caress your skin and you lean into the touch. "I think you're the most beautiful creature, Angel or otherwise, that I have ever had the fortune of meeting."

"Cas..."

"Shhh." He presses a gentle finger to your lips. "Y/N, you may not see it, but I do. You are beautiful, inside and out. And I love you."

Your eyes go wide. He loves you? Castiel, Angel of the Lord, love you? You, the slightly chubby, self-conscious, scarred Hunter, and love by and angel.

"You love me?" you say softly, half expecting him, to laugh in your face.

"Yes, Y/N. I love you."

Tears well up in your eyes and Cas begins to panic,

"No, don't cry!" he says, sitting up on his knees and holding your face in his hands. "Did i say something wrong? Should i not have said that? I did not intend to upset you, truly..."

You giggle through your tears, bringing your hands up to cover his. "No, Cas," you say. "You haven't done anything wrong. Quite the opposite, in fact. I can't remember the last time someone told me they loved me."

He visibly relaxes. "Oh. I suppose I shall have to say it more, than."

You smile. "I wouldn't mind that."

"And i shall tell the Winchesters to say it, as well," cas continues. "I know they love you, though in a different way than I do, they just never say so."

"If you want to tell them," you say. "Cas?"

"Yes, my love?"

My love. You like it. You like it a lot.

"Can I kiss you?"

"Of course."

X X X X X X

When the boys return a few hours later, it's to find you and Cas curled up on the couch. After a splendid makeout session, you moved to the living room to watch Netflix. Now, you're asleep on Cas' chest.

He holds a finger to his lips when the Winchesters enter the room. Sam nods and Dean just grins.

Cas carefully slips out from under you. He lead the boys kntk the kitchen, where he quickly explains what happened while they were out.

As soon as his story is over, Dean pulls out his wallet and hands Sam, who looks rather smug, a few bills.

"We made a bet on how long it would take you two to get together," Sam explains.

Cas rolls his eyes and returns to you. When he sits down on the couch, you immediately roll to bury your face in his chest. He smiles.


End file.
